England forward Chloe Kelly has revealed she has chosen not to listen back to the podcast episode in which she spoke openly about her battles with anxiety and alopecia earlier this year. The Manchester City attacker’s health struggles were first shared publicly on Fearne Cotton’s podcast, released on Monday, an episode that moved Kelly’s mum and husband to tears.
The 27-year-old is among six nominees for Thursday night’s BBC Sports Personality of the Year award. Kelly famously converted the decisive penalty for the Lionesses at this summer’s European Championships, as Sarina Wiegman’s side became the first senior England team to successfully defend a major title.
She will compete for the award alongside fellow Lioness Hannah Hampton, Formula One world champion Lando Norris, Masters winner Rory McIlroy, rugby union star Ellie Kildunne and darts world champion Luke Littler at the ceremony in Salford. After a challenging exit from Manchester City, Kelly returned to Arsenal on loan in January and went on to lift the Champions League trophy in May.
That success, however, followed a period of intense personal struggle. Kelly began the year feeling unwell, overwhelmed and experiencing hair loss, at one point collapsing on her bathroom floor in what she described as a “vicious cycle” — details shared in Cotton’s latest podcast.
Speaking to reporters on Tuesday, Kelly said: “I haven’t listened to the podcast because it feels like going through everything all over again. My mum and Scott listened and were both in tears because it brings it all back for them too.
“I’m so thankful for them. They supported me through a really difficult time, and it was about far more than football.
“At that point, my mum didn’t care about football at all. She just kept saying, ‘I just want my little girl to be happy.’
“There were moments when she stayed in Liverpool longer than planned because she was worried about me. I didn’t realise then how much pressure it was putting on the people around me.
“In the end, I’m just grateful for those who stood by me during those dark moments. Seeing them in the stands, being there when you’re lifting trophies — that means everything to me.”
Kelly also detailed how her physical health worsened after returning to London. She pushed for a loan move to Arsenal after sharing a social media statement explaining that her mental and emotional wellbeing had been affected by someone’s “negative behaviour,” though she did not identify who.
“I started noticing bald patches on the side of my head,” she explained. “I thought, not only has this taken a mental toll, but now I can see it physically as well.
“I remember before the North London derby, I FaceTimed Scott and said, ‘I can’t hide my bald patches.’ I had one on each side of my head.
“It was difficult trying to focus on a match while also attempting to conceal something that had become part of me. That’s when I decided to change my hairstyle — you probably noticed I stopped wearing the pre-wrap for a while, until I felt confident again.”
Kelly said she sought medical advice from England and Arsenal staff and visited a hair specialist with her mum, Jane, during an international break, receiving injections to her scalp. She added: “I knew it was something I had to do to feel better — not just on the pitch, but off it too.”